i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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