If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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