i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
