He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
