clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
