The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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