I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
