Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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