Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
