are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
