the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
