It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
