I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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