You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
