Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
