just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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