Soap is not a condiment
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
