You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
