That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
