i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
