i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
