i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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