You're so nebulous sometimes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize