Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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