I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
