dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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