I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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