you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize