the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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