you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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