try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
