Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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