I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
