New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
