We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
