Christians are straight up FREAKS
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
