as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you made out with another girl for some wings
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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