How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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