Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
