Sponge bath it is.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize