shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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