I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
