So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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