just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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