I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
