i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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