He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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