I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
