butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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