So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
