An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize