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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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• (845): View more from New York

  It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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  23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.

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• (714): View more from California

  my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.

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