just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
