Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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  (360): two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it? (206): only if you didn't want to fuck up your life. http://tfl.nu/bqd4
  Replies (72) Good night (888) Bad night (8852)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

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  (949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me. http://tfl.nu/kgtm
  Replies (19) Good night (598) Bad night (2210)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

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  (703): never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly http://tfl.nu/n7qz
  Replies (56) Good night (3984) Bad night (831)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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  (724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx
  Replies (16) Good night (691) Bad night (3558)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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  (410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi
  Replies (27) Good night (464) Bad night (4495)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex

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  (817): So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex http://tfl.nu/vz15
  Replies (67) Good night (1022) Bad night (5285)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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  (314): I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you http://tfl.nu/08lz
  Replies (3) Good night (3783) Bad night (727)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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  (775): It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/xv2l
  Replies (11) Good night (2031) Bad night (1505)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl

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  (913): You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl http://tfl.nu/bt6t
  Replies (1) Good night (1292) Bad night (2205)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away

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  (845): you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away http://tfl.nu/uj7c
  Replies (3) Good night (2707) Bad night (734)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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  (305): If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals. http://tfl.nu/sngt
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (635)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.

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  (208): Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all. http://tfl.nu/lyhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (394)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.

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  (772): Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hte9
  Replies (9) Good night (482) Bad night (1859)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.

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  (908): 4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden. http://tfl.nu/r37f
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (134)
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  (530): View more from California

  Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

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  (530): Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber. http://tfl.nu/lvwx
  Replies (3) Good night (184) Bad night (361)

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