I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early