fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife