I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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