its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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