you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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