your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
