You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
