dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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