Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
