you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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