He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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